20 Tips for Surviving your PhD

PhD studies are the highest level of education, and the road can be frustrating and exhausting at times, but the final result (your dissertation) is at the same time a major achievement in life, and a very rewarding event.

Whenever you feel like you keep on working on the same problem, with no way out, remember that blocks and friction are simply part of the creative process that is research.

When you feel like your world is limited to your lab, your bed and the library - know that there is no shame in taking a break and refueling yourself.

In the 3,5 years of my PhD research (no coursework), I've spent about 40 to 80 hours a week on my research. Sometimes, I was in the lab from 8am to 4pm, and then making calculations for the funding organization from 4pm to 10pm. Major deadlines always tend to fall around the same time. Other times, I left the office at 5pm and spent the entire evening relaxing.

Some people say a PhD costs you a kidney and a lung, other people say it's just like a 9-to-5 job. I say, the truth is somewhere in the middle, and you have the freedom to determine how much time you really want to pour into your work. It's not a linear process, at all - and it's different for every student.

With these precautions in mind, I'd like to share with you my 20 best tips for making it through the PhD, in a time-efficient way:

1. Don't work too hard

It's a PhD, not a Nobel prize - and in this context I'd like to remind you of your sole purpose of your PhD: finding a way to answer your research question, in a novel way, showing that you are an independent researcher.
Everybody has loose ends, but if they are only remotely related to your research question, cut them out and leave them for later (or put them up as an idea for a MSc thesis student).

2. Know when you need to do some extra effort

When major deadlines collide, go into bunker-mode. Don't stay in that mode for too long, but know when you need to put in that extra effort to push things through. It's just a temporary thing, never stay bunkered or hermiting for too long.

3. Take enough breaks during the days

Don't skip your lunch break, for the love of the Flying Spaghettimonster. Browsing the internet does not count as a break. You know what I mean - get some fresh air, talk to a colleague or go and grab a coffee with a friend.

4. Make friends in your department

If you're a foreigner, befriend a local to whom you can turn for advice on the non-written rules in the society you landed in. Make friends with your fellow PhD students, and have fun together. I contribute the "success" of my PhD by and large to being in a great research group, and working closely together with the bestest lab tech and awesomest daily supervisor in history.

5. Go to conferences

If you can find funding, get out of your institution and learn from the rest of the world. Conferences have been my eye-openers, my trial-stages and the place where I made friends within the research community on my topic.

6. Reach out to the industry

Especially true for a PhD in Engineering, which will always keep at least one finger at the pulse of the problems of the World Outside. Try to go to conferences that are attended by industry players, or attend workshops/meetings/... where practitioners of your field come together.

7. Don't forget the bigger scope

When you get frustrated with a detail, remember the bigger scope, and if you're a little on the idealistic side, remember what the Greater Good of your work is: are you making sure the roads/bridges are safe (my case), or protecting baby hearts, or improving water purification? Connect to that feeling of pride and importance on being able to contribute to the greater problems of society for a meager salary.

8. Work up a sweat

After sitting all day behind my computer screen, you need to get your body tired too to be able to get a good rest at night. Try to move your body for at least 15 - 20 minutes a day; and try to find time for 3 to 4 longer workouts per week.

9. Pick up a hobby

Get a hobby that absorbs your mind fully, so that you can concentrated on something completely different than your research. The options are plenty: musical instruments are a great way to clean your mind, but gardening, handiwork, cooking,... all work equally well. Just find something that touches a *dzing* within you.

10. Get your finances sorted out

Avoid financial stress during your studies. Get a good overview of your finances, know in how much debt you will be getting over your studies (if any), and always always have an emergency fund ready in case shit hits the fan. Don't overspend. If need be, roam around in clothes from thrift stores and eat from a discount supermarket. Been there, done that, stayed out of debt.

11. Make time for your friends and family

There will be times when you bunker down and don't call anybody. But make sure you find the time to catch up with your friends and family every now and then. They are what truly matters in the end.

12. Find a routine that works for you

Nobody ever told me to come to campus early, but I've always started some time between 8am and 8:20am at the latest. Having a routine of certain evening/social activities throughout the week, designated cleaning/laundry days and batch-cooking evenings, can greatly help you at getting into a routine that makes sure you get fulfilled in all your needs.

13. Lead your own research

Become the CEO of your own research-enterprise. Take leadership of your project, and come up with ideas. Don't depend too much on your supervisors, make sure you know what to do when they are unavailable for a month or longer.

14. Present wherever you can

Practice presenting your work as often as you can, and for as many audiences as possible. Try giving a TEDx Talk, talk at an industry event and present at as many conferences as possible. Get your face out there, and practice practice practice.

15. Write, write and write some more

Write as often as you can, as much as you can, so that by the time you write your dissertation, you will have become a fluent academic writer. Writing is your single most important task, so make time for it. Practice makes perfect (or at least - experienced), so ask for ample feedback.

16. Get the right fuel

Say goodbye to grilled cheese sandwiches and instant tomato soup, and get yourself some decent food. I'm talking veggies here, as well as quality protein, some good grains and healthy fats (avocados ftw).

17. Read outside of the borders of your research topic

Read as widely around your topic as possible. Having broad peripheral knowledge has helped me in two ways: 1) by teaching me how to think out-of-the-box, and 2) by having a basic understanding of a broader field so that I can more easily follow conference presentations and have chitchat with other researchers.

18. Make time for deep work

Get a good slot of time to do your deep work, as this is the time when you get to push your project forwards. Dedicate an entire morning or afternoon to unraveling one tiny subquestion of your research question.

19. Teach and supervise students

Teaching is incredibly rewarding, and so is supervising thesis students. If you're in a program that does not comprise coursework, it's easy to get fully bunkered down into your small topic. Teaching helps you to regain a broader perspective of your field.

20. Remember why you started this PhD journey in the first place

I have my own reasons why I decided to pursue a PhD, and yours my be very different - but remind yourself from time to time why you started this in the first place. Remember the greater goals you have in mind, and know that it was your personal choice to start.

What is your best advice for surviving the PhD? What keeps you going when the going gets though?

Silver Linings: Discover your Major Strengths

Curiosity and interest in the world = traveling

Regardless of whether you are currently seeking a job and want to have a ready answer to the question "What are your major strengths?", it is never a bad idea to take time to reflect on this question.

Knowing our strengths can work as a tool to leverage these strengths and push projects forward in your unique way. It's all about honoring the unique individual, you.

Moreover, research has demonstrated the impact of using our strengths on our mood and effectiveness: knowing and using our top strengths increases our happiness.

As Caroline Miller puts it:

"We do not become happy BECAUSE we are successful, we become successful because we start in a flourishing place, and using strengths assists in getting there."

A free online tool that you can use to assess your strengths, is the VIA Survey by University of Pennsylvania. You'll need to register to use the website, and -unless my spam filter did a great job- I've not been receiving any obnoxious emails from UPenn. Sleek, great work by them - and an eye-opening test.

As a researcher, I was not too surprised about my top strengths: "Curiosity and interest in the world", and "Love of learning". The most interesting part for me, was to go over the entire list according to my results, and see the relative positions of these strengths with regard to each other. I use these results to analyze a major task at hand:

• Viewing my list from top strengths to mehs, 
• Deciding how I can contribute to this project from my unique standpoint,
• Bringing my personal spice into the solution.

So, if you can carve out 20 to 30 minutes today, give yourself the gift of self-reflection. Fill out the survey, and link it to something that you are working on.
Maybe it gives you some insight on why you are struggling with a certain aspect. Maybe it gives you a hint of how to leverage your potential to tackle a certain problem.
Certainly you will learn something.

Did you take the survey, or have you taken a similar survey in the past? What did you learn? Please share your experiences in the comments section!

Silver Linings: Kickstart Your Change

Kickstart Your Change organizes a variety of free courses through the Ruzuku course platform.

Topics range from photography, career planning to nourishing your creativity and improving your health.

The courses typically last about five days, and take about 15 minutes a day. 

For me, these courses are an excellent way to squeeze in some learning on different topics of my interest.

Most courses also feature an hour-long webinar at the end, typically at 5pm EST (I have not been able to make it for any of the webinar because of the difference in time).

You can sign up on the Kickstart your Change website, and they'll send you an alert when a new course is open for registration.

If you enjoy learning something new, I'd cordially recommend you to sign up and see when a course of your interest passes by.

So far, I've signed up for every single course that came along - but not all of them equally appealed to me. It's free, there's no obligation, so you can simply sign up and listen in to a first session to see if you find it inspiring.

Give it a try, and let me know how you like them!

Writers' Lab: 750 words versus longhand journaling

To clear out your mind, keeping a journal is a great tool.

Keeping a journal does not only bring you more peace of mind but it also has the following benefits:
- identify your worries by expressing them
- create a moment for self-reflection
- have a personal archive of thoughts
- track your progress in achieving goals
- practice writing in a different way
- by reading multiple entries, you can analyze deeper thought patterns.

I'm a long-time journal-writer. From spring until early December, I was using 750 words and it helped me developing my theoretical approach and ultimately writing my dissertation. But since late 2012, I have switched back to my longhand journal - a notebook I've been using since 2000.

As a teenager, I wrote in my journal daily. I copied the habit from my grandfather, who wrote daily for his entire life (and thus, throughout the second World War). When I went to university, I wrote less and less and eventually spaced entries by two years. Early in my PhD, I picked up the habit again to reflect on my research, and life in general.

Having used both digital and longhand journals over the past months, I have listed to pros and cons of each method, to help you chose the right method to keep up a journal.

750 words
+ This website is designed to get you writing:clean workspace, no distractions.
+ I've used 750 words to flesh out ideas and to write a brief overview of what I did during a day.
+ It's the perfect place for typing out a rant.
+ The stats are great - they help you analyze your writing.
- You're restricted to (mostly) unformatted text: you can't highlight, scribble, draw.
- You're staring at a screen, like for too many of your activities.

longhand journal
+ It's great to flip through a journal and read random entries from long ago.
+ Writing longhand makes it easier to get into the flow of writing.
+ Distractions associated with the internet are not there.
+ You can draw, highlight, use different colored pencils,..
+ I find it easier to mix up the writing: overviews of what I did, my deeper thoughts and worries, random gratitude lists, affirmations
- Writing longhand is slower than typing
- It's not in the cloud, you need to drag along a physical object when you travel.

Do you journal? Has it improved your writing, or keeping track of your goals? Share you experiences in the comments section!

Five reasons why I decided to pursue a PhD

Some time ago, I was asked why I decided to pursue a PhD, and how I got an idea of what a PhD candidate's work life looks like. In fact, I had always liked to idea of simply keeping on studying (there's always more to learn), but when I went to Georgia Tech and was in class with both MS and PhD students, I got a more realistic idea of what I could expect when deciding to pursue a doctoral degree.

Ultimately, these five reasons are the main reasons why I decided to study for a PhD, and why I enjoy my studies and research so much:

1. Curiosity

I wanted to know more, I wanted to figure out things - and for that reason, research is about the best fit possible. I was also curious to explore my own boundaries and abilities and to get off the beaten path and "work my way through the woods".

2. Intellectual freedom

Even though I do have deadlines, I still have enough time and space to spend on developing thoughts that simply seem interesting to me. Also, I dislike authority very much, and being able to work for my degree on my project in all the freedom I like, is about the most ideal work-situation for me.

3. Self-development

While pursuing my doctoral degree, I have been developing my transferable skills much more than I expected to do. I've had the opportunity to attend workshops and trainings for this goal, but I have also had the opportunities to bring into practice what I've learned from these workshops - by presenting for various audiences, traveling to conferences and juggling several smaller projects at the same time.

4. Challenge

The ultimate goal of a doctoral dissertation is to present an original contribution to your study field. To fulfill this requirement, certain intellectual boundaries have to be pushed, or -as my best friend states it- we have to reinvent hot water every day.

5. Fun

Science, and in my case experimental research, is fun. There's always an unexpected challenge (or, for the pessimists among us, a problem) which requires an original and preferable quick fix.

Blog birthday!

Yesterday was PhD talk's first birthday. One year since my first blog post, and I must say it has been a great experience.

I started off this blog to keep track of how I am doing with my resolutions (stay focused and find a work-life balance), but this blog has taken many directions. I've found a way to write about my research, what it means to do research, and many other remotely related topics.

Here's a big "Thank you" for my readers and subscribers! I never thought my writing would be read in the first place, but I'm glad to see your comments and input! Thank you all so much!

So, after a year, how am I doing with my resolutions?
1. Stay focused
Major improvements! My ability to focus and concentrate has greatly increased - partially because I have been training my concentration "muscle", but also partially because I feel more time-pressure on the different tasks I am juggling, which makes me gear up to a higher mode of concentration.

2. Work-life balance
I still spend more hours on my PhD than what you'd spend on a "normal" job, but I enjoy it a lot, and get a lot of energy and joy out of doing research - especially when I "find" something. It looks like a work-life balance to me means a large shot of work and a large shot of "life" in there, and as little "idling" time as possible. I've been working out a lot, playing music a lot, writing in my dairy, blogging, occasionally writing poems and drawing, reading Good Books, modeling, making scrapbooks, spending time in nature, spending time with my family, traveling, sleeping more and trying out new recipes (to mention a few). You might get tired by simply reading this list, but I've found that to keep going is what really fuels me. An evening in front of the TV just feels like wasted time to me.

Research-wise it has been an amazing year, too. I've started to feel confident about my research and to grow as a teacher. Currently, I'm juggling a crazy amount of different tasks - and I totally love it. Since I have a problem with authority, the freedom of academia seems to stimulate me to perform in an optimal way.

Personally, too, this past year (I was 25) has been among my top 3 favorite life-years ever (together with 23 and 17).

Halfway my PhD

Today, I'm exactly halfway the time it is supposed to take me to finish my PhD. Looking back at the past two years, and thinking of what still needs to be done, I find it hard to tell if I am on schedule, but I can say for certain that I've had a fruitful learning experience so far.

What I've done so far:
- Experiments: the largest chunk of my time has gone into preparing and carrying out experiments in the lab. In total we've done 134 tests on 31 specimens by now, and we've just started our smaller, second series of experiments.
- Reading: I've been reading technical papers and reports with an insatiable hunger for a broader knowledge. I'm nearing 500 entries into Endnote (which just looks like a fun number, but it doesn't tell you that much). What matters is that I feel that I've started to get a good overview on what we know with regard to shear in concrete and existing concrete bridges.
- Analysis: I've done the larger part of data analysis of the experiments which I have finished.
- Writing/presenting my research: I've written a few conference papers, gave some talks and am about to finish a set of research reports.
- Case studies on existing bridges: which I found very valuable - maybe mot directly for my thesis, but definitely for my general understanding of my topic.
- Teaching: I've been TA for a course for two years, and I've just seen my first MSc thesis student defend with flying colors and graduate.
- Study: Of only one course I followed the course and finished the exam. Since I have no requirement for a certain amount of credits I should obtain to get my degree, I've been mainly shopping around in some courses to learn what I directly need. I wanted to study more, but I couldn't combine it with my busy lab-schedule. Additionally, I followed some workshops and courses on skills for PhD students, which I found very helpful.

What I still need to do:
- Finish my experiments, 7 more slabs to go.
- Analysis: I'm curious to see what will come out of these new experiments
- Development of a theory: I have a few loose ideas, but I have to do it. This is still an enormous task to tackle.
- Writing: I haven't finished my literature review yet. I haven't written any chapter of my thesis at all (a thought which by times mildly distresses me). I don't have a journal paper out yet, either. Also, I want to write more conference papers.
- Teaching: keep doing and keep learning from practice.

What I've learned so far:
- Writing: When I look chronologically at the different conference papers I've written, I see progress in my own writing. I try to improve step by step.
- Organizing/Productivity: Bit by bit, I've been developing my own ways to keep all my documents and ongoing projects organized and up-and-running.My main goal now is (still) to be able to get as much out of my concentration and focus as possible.
- Teaching: If I compare the way I was TA-ing the course last year and this year, I notice that I've become much better organized and found a way which works very well for me.

It's been an interesting journey so far - and I'm really curious to see where the path will be going.

Blog post about holidays

Before I went on holiday last summer, I read this inspiring post (in Dutch) about how you can keep that "holiday feeling" a longer.

That feeling was described as:
"This feeling is associated with peace, energy, creativity, inspiration and relaxation"

This made me realize how much I actually need a holiday every now and then. As a salaried employee of my university, I am entitled 41 working days of paid leave per year (yes, that's not a typo, and that's quite common for us here).

As I had read this article before I left, I decided I would pay closer attention to how precisely I was feeling before and after my (relatively short and very full holiday).

I left completely exhausted. In fact, I fell asleep before my plane took off and slept through most of my 10 hour flight.

Now that I've been back to research for one week, I clearly noticed how taking a break positively influenced my abilities. My thinking is clearer, my attention span longer and my focus sharper. Even though I find it hard to stop and rest for a while, this should be a reminder for the upcoming (crazy-busy) months.

As a result of this, I decided I will take the recommendations of that post and put them into practice. Here's a brief summary of that advice:
- do something new once per week
- take enough breaks
- go outside
- turn off your phone/mail/twitter/facebook
- surround yourself with that holiday feeling

I'll be writing in 1 or 2 months to describe how I could savor my holiday feeling a little longer.

A personal note: I wrote my holiday was rather short (10 days) but very full. In fact, it was filled with the PhD defense of my boyfriend, my birthday, a lot of partying and our engagement.

Strengths or Challenge?

After reading (amongst others) this article about using your strengths to find your most suited path, I've spent quite some time reflecting on this issue.

The fact is, I've never made a choice based on my strengths. In fact, I've always been driven by the challenge. I've never taken the option which I thought was best suited for me, but I've always taken the most challenging option.

In high school, my favorite subjects were Latin and History. Classical studies or history would have been a logical choice of study for me, but I chose engineering because I thought it was going to be a though study, and I felt as if I needed to look for a challenge to open up my maximum potential.

Whenever I feel like I've reached the point at which I am comfortable at doing what I am doing, and I feel like I'm mastering the task or subject, I start feeling a bit restless. I feel the need to go one level up and challenge myself again.

Reading about building your life path based on your strengths sounds very logical to me, but I wonder if it doesn't deprive us of some options. The freedom to learn from your mistakes, to play around and see if we can grow in a skill which initially does not seem to be our best fit.

I've come to think that not all of it is as contradictory as it would seem at first. I now think that knowing our strengths, cherishing and nourishing them is indeed something which will make us more confident and will let us live at our full potential. Within that frame, there is still room for improving ourselves through trial and error, as long as we keep our strengths and core values in mind. I've ended up realizing that one of my main strengths is my passion for challenges.

Reflections on Lifehack's 11 things to avoid in 2011

I recently came across Lifehack's post on 11 things to avoid in 2011.

Since one of my reverb 10 prompts was about 11 things to let go of in 2011, I was quite interesting in this article... and got some ideas as well while reading it.

What especially drew my attention were the following topics on the list:

4. Assuming that you always know the entire story

You don’t. Ask more questions. Listen. Ask more questions. Give yourself an out and don’t back others into corners when you give your final answer.

Too often I interrupt, and I have the horrible habit of interrupting when someone asks me a question. I hear a key word and I start answering, and I realized it really bothers. It gives a very bad impression too, when I do this at the end of a presentation during the Q&A.
With friends and loved ones, too, I often feel the need to relate to their story to tell a similar story of something which happened to me or which I heard before. Unfortunately, that makes me sound as if I don't care and want to drag the attention towards myself.

6. Blaming anything on gender

For example: I was in an argument recently (imagine that!) and my partner in the argument forcefully uttered the remark, “typical male!” in response to something I said that was admittedly unkind (imagine that!). This created a predicament in which my subsequent apology would be not just for my comment but also for my gender. I can’t change my gender (really, not an option) so I’d be apologizing for being myself. Crazy, right? She doesn’t do that because she’s a woman. She does it because she’s an imperfect human. He doesn’t do that because he’s a man. He does it because he’s an imperfect human. Things are simpler when we approach conflict with as few stereotypes as possible.

Such an approach will change things. I promise you.

I wish gender wouldn't be so much of an issue, but it's tangibly there, all the time. I regularly feel uncomfortable just for being young and female. I shrink down when students look surprised at me, showing their disbelief that I am going to explain them something. It is as if everyone needs to have an opinion about me, before even looking at the work I actually do. It doesn't help me that I am so aware of this. I'd like to ban the idea of "what are they now thinking of me" from my head and just trust in myself and the value of my work.

10. Not asking for help

You’d be stunned if you knew just how many people are ready and willing to help you if only you’d clearly define your need and directly ask for help. Don’t ask for help like the friend who begs people to help him move but has nothing put in boxes when they show up. Ask for help like the friend who has done everything in his power to achieve and needs only that final push from a buddy to reach success. We want to be a part of your success!

One of my challenges for 2011 is to gather my courage and ask for what I need, whether that is help, input of ideas or the permission to present somewhere. We have a saying, which, translated, would be something like "No you always have, yes you can get." I'll try to live by that a bit more, and let go of my fear to disturb or upset someone.

Reflecting on Reverb10

I just went over my Reverb10 posts again, as suggested by the day 31 prompt.

One thing I've noticed is that I've started to allow myself to write about different topics. Initially I started this blog to share what I've learned so far while doing my PhD, and quite soon I started writing about how I experience the process of doing a PhD, and how this effects my life. For that reason, I needed to turn to a more personal style of writing and open up some more of my personal life into this blog.

Another thing I've noticed, is that I seemed to be writing shorter posts towards the end of the challenge. This might be because I wanted to finish up the challenge because I took a few weeks off. However, I think the most important reason is that I made the most important discoveries about the past year while writing out the first prompts. I spent a fair amount of time reflecting and thinking about the first prompts before I started writing about these, and by the time I reached the later prompts, I felt like I was mostly repeating myself.

In general I can conclude with the following observations which I made while rereading these posts:

1. I've gathered the necessary tools.

I've attended all possible trainings and workshops over the past year, and I worked myself through a massive amount of self-development and life-hacking blog posts. I've learned a lot through all of this, and I've been brewing my own success potion out of it (as for now, recipe is subject to change ;) ). With all these tools within my reach, I feel that I am now much more able to tack the difficult tasks ahead.

2. I've gained an active attitude.

2010 clearly was the year in which I started to take matters into my own hands and push my project forward. I might have been pushing with all my energy but in a random direction, but at least I've found myself bustling with energy. In the first few months of my PhD I was not sure of what was actually expected from me, and I was too passive. Now that I see my project as entirely my responsibility, with the highly appreciated input of my supervisors, I feel much more in charge and much more motivated.

3. Creativity is part of myself...

... and I need to make time for it. I have no idea about how my brain actually works, but I want to try out to see what happens if I allow more time for creativity in my life. I expect that creativity will grow on me again like a certain habit, and that I will find it easier to come up with creative ideas in my research.

4. I should trust myself.

Even though I have started to learn to right skills and know how to improve, I sometimes doubt and find myself overthinking situations and fearing all possible failures. I should just trust in what I've learned, and that I really know what I am doing since I am the expert of my very own topic. This is a point for improvement and I will work on this in 2011.

5. New year's resolutions

-> Focus and concentrate:
I need to get up from my office and go out for a walk, I should train my focus by meditation and mindfulness and I should try not to be so easily distracted anymore.

-> Communicate more clearly:
I need to learn how to convey my message in a clear and direct way, avoiding all the strange constructions I typically use in order to sound polite, while actually obscuring my key point. I also want to let go of the fear to go and ask for something. Getting a "no" is really not the end of the world.

-> Cultivate the creativity habit
By taking more time to play music and write, I want to train my mind to think out of the box more often and come up with original ideas.

Overall, I can conclude by writing that I am very grateful of participating in the Reverb1 project. Usually I never reflect on my past year, don't make resolutions and just let everything the way it was. I hope this challenge and reflection will help me work on achieving my goals.

Reverb10 - Day 31: Core story

December 31 – Core Story

What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.)

(Author: Molly O’Neill)

Smile, and the world will smile at you

In other words: think positive.

I try to always think positive and take the challenges which are on my way, although I am often confronted with my own thoughts of fear and doubt.

I try to share some sunshine with the people around me, knowing that if they feel warm and supported, I too will feel warm and happy.

Look at the beauty of the world, the joy of every day's little indulgences.

I remember that in secondary school, we had to stick some paper to our backs and have our class mates write what they think about you and your strengths on it. One of them wrote: "enjoying life at the fullest." I was the student who would open to windows to enjoy a little bit of sunshine during class, who would close her eyes and smile because the spring sun is shining on our faces during lunch break. And that characteristic has always been with me, but it has been pushed to the background the past few years.

I hope that, now that I realize this, I can bring this ability back and enjoy every little reason to smile.

Reverb10 - Day 30: Gift

December 30 – Gift

Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?

(Author: Holly Root)

Another hard prompt for me. I am inclined to immediately pick an emotional gift, since these have the largest impact on me. The continuous love and support of my boyfriend, family and friends are the ground in which I am rooted. But a gift itself should be more defined, a more precise moment or action.

I received beautiful presents on all occasions during the past year, which I all cherish very much.

Other than that, I find it very hard to pick the best gift out of all these.

Reverb10 - Day 29: Defining moment

December 29 – Defining Moment

Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

(Author: Kathryn Fitzmaurice)

My confidence has grown this year over a series of events.

1. I moved to a much nicer place, which makes me feel much happier and relaxed.

2. I had to opportunity to present my research a few times, and I received some encouraging feedback

3. My supervisors suggested that I start writing a journal paper.

Number 2 and 3 filled me with a mixture of fear (I hope this won't go wrong) and excitement (Awesome! I really want to do this). I've put the fear to the background and have drawn the card of the challenge, which made my confidence grow after each little success.

Reverb10 - Day 28: Achieve

December 28 – Achieve

What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

(Author: Tara Sophia Mohr)

I want to learn how to concentrate and focus better

With so many distractions around, and juggling several major tasks at the same time (series of experiments, writing papers, preparing conferences, supervising students, random people showing up at my door), I find it very hard to actually turn away from the world and concentrate on one single task.

Even on moments when I am with my office door closed, and no appointments coming up within the next few hours, I still feel my thoughts going all over the place. I am doing one task, the another task comes into my mind, then I open a folder on my computer to do something, think of something else and note it down, and by the time I turn back to my screen I've forgotten why I actually opened that folder.

I would really love to learn how to silence all the background noise in my head (all advice is greatly appreciated) and work straight on with a single task. It is possible, sometimes I feel I am totally "in" my task and don't notice my surroundings and random thoughts. But those moments are very rare.

I imagine that by achieving this goal, I will feel calm, less stressed and in control. I hopefully will make better progress, and as a result, I will feel satisfied with my efforts.

Ten things to do and thoughts to think to feel calm are the following.


1. Meditate

One of my new year's resolutions (which I am still making, and for which I will make a certain set of goals) is to pick up meditation again. Training my mind to focus will help me concentrate on my work more as well, I hope.

2. Practice mindfulness

In the PhD training course which I am taking, we practice mindfulness exercises every meeting. It has a great effect on me. Still, I feel the need to learn more about it, actually get a book to work with. I'll combine this with my meditation efforts.

3. Do not act out of fear

Too often I feel I am being held back by the fear of "doing something wrong" or "being seen as stupid" or "being considered impolite" or "being too demanding". As a result, I end up sitting in my office, thinking about all random possible other solutions, and feeling stressed out. Once I start to retrace why I am not just getting up from my chair, knock the right door and get on with it, I can trace the fear hidden behind my actions.

4. Sleep, exercise and eat healthy food

Mens sana in corpore sano. I can't concentrate and feel all calm and focused when I am feeling tired due to a lack of sleep, an overdose of sugar or a lack of exercise. I too often cut back on all these though, because I try to fit too many activities into one day.

5. Prioritize

Knowing what is the most important thing to be working on at a certain time, and more precisely: knowing what is my most important thing to be finished at a given day, makes me feel more calm. I know what is most important, and which other tasks need to be sent to the background.

6. Eliminate distractions

I find it still very hard to concentrate on something, while I am expecting a reply e-mail or when all kinds of alerts start popping up onto my computer screen. In the bast case, I just can switch off my computer screen and work with pen and paper on my desk. But the amount of time I can do this before I return to my screen to quickly check when it will rain or whether my e-mail was replied, is deplorably short.

7. Let go of perfectionism

It takes me so much energy in trying to be perfect and have every detail completely finished and polished before I show it to someone else. I will feel much calmer if some day I can let go of this.

8. Spend time on reflecting about goals

Knowing how I am progressing and seeing the little successes along the way, while keeping in mind the bigger picture, will help me to feel more calm. With a clear planning and list of goals, I can see how much I have already done and what is still left to be done. It gives me a less biased overview of my real progress.

9. Celebrate successes

I need to stop and celebrate whenever I reach a milestone. Too often I just think "Alright, this is done, let's rush on to the next task", while it would give me some peace of mind to realize that I've actually completed an important step forward.

10. Stop trying to please everyone

Hard one, but a lot of what I have going on in my head are small tasks I need to do to help someone else out. Too often, I also worry what others think of me, which takes a lot of my energy. I actually only want to care about what my loved ones think of me, and how I can nourish these relations.

Reverb10 - Day 27: Ordinary Joy

December 27 – Ordinary Joy

Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?

(Author: Brené Brown)

1. biking around

After adjusting to the actual biking and building up some stamina, I've noticed that I really started to enjoy my bike rides. On pleasant spring days, I've been biking around, enjoying the mild weather, while getting some exercise and being able to sort out my mind.

2. sleeping early, waking refreshed

I've come a long way since the days when I used to feel awesome when I'd go to bed at 6 am. Nowadays, I enjoy the days when I can sleep at 10pm (those very rare days), and wake up in the morning feeling all refreshed. I often want to put too many activities into my day schedule, and end up cutting back on sleep. As a result, the next day, I'll be fighting my afternoon dip, trying to stay awake and not progressing as fast as I would like to.

I started to note down the hour at which I go to sleep two days ago, hoping this will encourage me to go to bed before 11pm (so I get my 8 hours of sleep).

Reverb10 - Day 25: Photo

December 25 – Photo – a present to yourself

Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

(Author: Tracey Clark)

I both like and dislike this prompt. It makes me mostly doubt whether I want to have a picture of me here or not, and what kind of picture it should be. I often feel that I don't look like the serious engineer I would like to be, and feel that certain people don't take me serious.

Recently, though, I started to realize that it doesn't really matter how people judge me based on their first impression. All I can do is to try and prove them wrong by showing what I've done and what I am doing.

Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

Picture taken by Synart, close to Barendrecht, the Netherlands.

The picture was taken without me noticing it. We had taken some pictures of me standing in the river, and while I was coming out and I was talking, this picture was taken. It shows me in nature (which I enjoy so much), smiling (which I do a lot and enjoy a lot) and talking gently to the photographer.

Reverb10 - Day 24: Everything's OK

December 24 Prompt – Everything’s OK

What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

(Author: Kate Inglis)

I've come across little encouraging moments. The first, and probably most noteworthy was the first PhD course which I took last February.

Finally, other aspects of doing a PhD were discussed. A young assistant professor talked about her experiences. I learned that it is normal that sometimes your progress is slower than expected, or that sometimes it is hard to find your motivation. These were true eye-openers for me.
I thought it was all about stamina, and having "weak" moments was a flaw only seen in "weaker" students. Little did I know about the whole PhD process.

After this course, my own search continued. I read a few books, enrolled for another PhD training course which goes deeper and attended some workshops to sharpen my soft skills. Bit by bit my understanding of the entire process of doing a PhD has been growing, and likewise my confidence in my own research and myself (at least a bit) has grown.

Reverb10 - Day 21: Future self

December 21 – Future Self.

Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

(Author: Jenny Blake)


Myself in five years from now

In five years from now, I will have finished my PhD, and will be living and working in yet another country, together with my boyfriend and two cats. I'll be fluent in Spanish and carry out research and receiving feedback from international fellow researchers. -That's what I hope for-

Advice to my current self

Look at the bigger picture, and don't waste too much time and energy on the little details. Work day by day towards the real goals, and learn to say "no" to little activities which take up too much of your time.

Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self

Don't try to grow up so fast, enjoy the ride, take the chances that come along the way. Don't be so stressed about what is coming next. Enjoy every moment, don't wander off too much into thinking about the future.

Reverb10 - Day 20: Beyond Avoidance

December 20 – Beyond Avoidance.

What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

(Author: Jake Nickell)


Be direct in my communication

Today, I was reading some handouts about communication, and more in detail about giving and receiving feedback.
One advice really drew my attention: no soft soap. The author wrote that, the more you talk around the message, the smaller the chance the other person actually understands your need.

Too often I've felt that people are neglecting my questions and need for help or advice. However, I never realized that this is caused by the fact that I never dare to state how important or urgent something is. All this is because I am afraid to be impolite or too demanding.

In fact, when formulating clearly what I need and when I need it, I simply convey my message in a clear way. When I need something, I shouldn't be afraid to ask for it.
In the end, one of the goals of a PhD project is to learn from your advisor, which is only possible when you ask him/her questions.